Thoughts on balance

I've lost my writing imagination-mojo the last couple of weeks. I've stopped working on my numerous stories in progress, and adding posts to my blogs has become difficult and laborious. The words are not flowing as easily. I think I know why, and I believe that the thrill of writing will come back to me before too long.

It's all a matter of balance, Yin and Yang (陰陽)...

I started writing a little more than four years ago as a counter-reaction to the progression of ALS. I found the intense concentration, control and energy derived through the writing process to be therapeutic and absolutely contrary to the loss that the disease was bringing to my life. I've written about this several times before, but I believe that the reaction was physically, emotionally and spiritually real. It evolved as a natural duality, as simple and complex as light and dark, fire and water, life and death. My newly found skills applying the written word are a perfect example of the ancient Chinese concept of yin-yang—opposite forces are interconnected and give rise to each other.

The natural explanation makes sense to me, but the spiritual explanation also exists. The ignition of this new passion and purpose is a gift from God, the Great Spirit and Mother Nature. There is no dichotomy. They sit side-by-side in my mind without effort. The expansion of my imagination and the ability to place these thoughts and ideas on to a blank laptop screen so that I can share them with others, was, and still is, complementary to the frozen condition of my physical self. Together, these two realities form a dynamic system, a new whole which is greater than the parts that existed before. They exist together in a positive space, and bring meaning to each other. I do not view myself as a handicapped person, but I am different. I'm something more than I was before ALS came into my life. I believe that this new state of being is a gift from God, the Universal Spirit of all things. I'm grateful for this gift that I have received.

And so, after four years of intense, sometimes overwhelming effort, I believe that it's natural for me to take a short break. The timing is in perfect alignment with my needs and the journey that I am traveling. This hiatus is another example of yin-yang. The big change that I wrote about in a previous post, my wife staying home with me full-time—is the catalyst. With the excellent physical and emotional care that she gives me, I am able to let my body and mind relax, and seek equilibrium. I'm taking more frequent naps and eating better foods. I have less anxiety, less pain, and less overall uncomfortable symptoms like difficulty breathing and swallowing, congestion, etc. So, as my body adjusts to a new rhythm, my mind is compensating by not firing my writing imagination as often. This does not bother me, I know it's temporary... I can feel my energy slowly coming back. I look forward to the new "voice" that is coming..

On a much lighter note, this blog received 672 page views last month! Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement. Please help me to broaden my readership by sending this link to your friends.