I've been living with my new PEG (stomach feeding tube) for over
three weeks now. The following thoughts come to me freely without censorship or
hesitation:
Her slender form slips gently into the quarter-inch hole in the
left side of my stomach. She joined me with some pain and discomfort at first,
but now she rests easily on my belly. We have become inseparable. She is about
12 inches long. One end of her is a simple Lopez valve where water, medicine
and liquefied food begin their journey into my system. The other end is some
sort of balloon apparatus inside my stomach – I've not seen this part of her, but I feel her contract and expand as
the situation dictates.
PEG has changed my life. I now get the nutrition that my body
needs without the fear of choking or aspirating. It takes about one hour for her to do her job, a slow drip of 450 mL of
formula. We do this dance together three times a day. At first, I thought I
would dislike her presence – after all, she replaces the joys of biting,
chewing, swallowing, and most of all tasting food. However, as we have gotten
to know each other, I admire her efficiency. The nutrients go directly to my
system. This is especially true when water is pumped directly through her into
my stomach. It's a rush of sudden hydration, similar to taking a long drink of
cold water on a hot summer day, but more immediate, more satisfying.
The old process of taking food and drink through the mouth is
still possible. I can enjoy ice cream, coffee, and the occasional baked potato,
or cheese and crackers, but I now realize that whole "enjoy the eating...
the taste and texture ritual" is not all that it's cracked up to be—pleasure
that I will surely miss, but not necessary. I can live without it, thanks to
PEG.
So, the next time you bite into your gourmet plate lunch, remember
to think about the process – the bite, the way your teeth, jaw, saliva and
tongue work together. The way the food tastes. The feeling as it goes down to
your stomach. Be sure to enjoy that pleasure, the luxury while it lasts.
PEG has given me a new way to look at food and nutrition. I feel
the energy coming back to me. She has given me a much needed boost in this
struggle with ALS. Thank you PEG!
WARNING the following photo is for mature audiences only. The
image may be disturbing to some...
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