A Scare and a fly

The other day, I think it was Wednesday, we had a good rainstorm and the wind was blowing strong here in the Valley.  I was working on the computer and there was a sudden power surge.  My BiPAP stopped working for about 30 seconds.  Usually the $800 Duracell backup battery kicks in automatically, but for some reason this time it did not work.  I was left without any air and a vacuum like feeling in my hose and mask on my nose.  I couldn't breathe or talk.  I was pretty scared and felt like perhaps the end was near.  Luckily Christopher was home and he realized the power had gone off so he came to check on me immediately.  He helped me take off the mask and sit up,so I could breathe minimally.  Power came back on at my BiPAP began to work once again.  It felt like liquid oxygen going to my lungs, wonderful and exhilarating all at once.  Chris was extremely upset.  He was very strong and I'm very proud of his reaction.  But I can tell it was a little bit shaky for both of us. When Mineko came home from work I told her what happened and she had tears.  It was very upsetting for her as well.  I definitely do not want to die from lack of air in this way.  Someday perhaps I will determine that it is time to unhook myself from these machines, but till then I want to keep on living.  I guess I feel most terrible for the ones I love.  I want them at all my friends to know that when the time does come that no one should feel guilty or sad.  You have all given me so much love and tender care, the reason that I wish to continue as long as possible.

There's a fly flying around our apartment today.  He's passed me two or three times now.  How fantastic it must be to be free like that to buzz around at what must be 1000 miles an hour in his time and speed.  Later today I think I'll put the window and hope that he can get out into the wider world.